Being different is awesome! I totally love how different I am from other people. I make weird faces, I dress is outlandish outfits. It’s awesome. But sometimes it feels like it’s not always appreciated by those who are looking for diversity.
Diversity in Literature is a huge topic. This is one of the most argued topics in YA literature right now. Diversity. It’s a big word. But does “Diversity” mean that we ignore some topics in order to cover “diverse” topics? I’d like to propose that we need to look beyond “diversity” to “otherness”.
It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like, at some point in your life you will be the “other”. Whether you are a Caucasian male or a Hispanic female or a Spanish Catholic or an Irish Protestant, at some point you will be the “other” in a situation. As an unmarried woman, I have found myself often in the “other” category when I am with my married friends. When I am with my friends who are still in college, I am the “other”. When I am with my male friends, I am the “other”. I bet you’ve recognized yourself as the “other” a time or two.
Being the “other” can put you in a position of great power or great victimization. You get to choose. You can feel sorry for yourself because you don’t fit in. You can wallow in your feelings of not being “enough”. Or you can choose differently- You can choose to see that you have a unique perspective and that perspective is needed. You get to choose what you offer to the world.
But there is power in realizing that you are not the only person who has ever felt like an “other”. There is always someone in a group that feels like an “other”.
I recently attended a bridal shower for someone very dear to me. I was trying to get someone’s attention. I addressed them by name, there wasn’t anyone around to distract them but they very pointedly walked away from me and towards someone else. I know they heard me, and yet they ignored me. They put me in the place of being the “other”. The unwanted, the unseen.
The way we respond to the presence of another person is powerful. We can choose to affirm their presence and show them they are wanted. Or, we can ignore their presence and let them know that we do not value what they have to say or what they want to share.
If you’ve read my blog before, you know I love Brene’ Brown. She wrote a blog about Toni Morrison’s talk on Oprah. Brene Brown shared how Morrison talked about your initial reaction when your child walks in the room. Does your face light up? Does your face reflect your desire to have that person’s presence in your life? Or do you look to criticize? Do you look at them and immediately flick your eyes off to the side so you won’t have to interact?
Ignoring a person or shutting them down shuts down their spirit. I felt so little when I was ignored at the bridal shower. I felt so unvalued and unwanted. But the truth is, it doesn’t matter what that person thought of me. It doesn’t matter if they want my opinion. So I was the “other” in this situation- so what. The bride saw me and her face lit up. She showed me that my presence was wanted. She did as Morrison suggested and affirmed my presence by reflecting her delight in me on her face.
We each have our people. Our people who love us and want us around. If you don’t have those people in your life, please let me know! I want to be one of your people! I’d be happy to show you just how delighted I am by your presence. But decide that the voice of your people matter more than the voice of those trying to keep you as the “other”.
Let’s go delight in “others” this week!
Keep Sparkling
B
The Sparkling Librarian 