Tag: #lotr

The Way You Lead Matters

B

You. Yes you. Right there. Reading this. You are a leader.

How does that make you feel? When I was in school there was a great uptick in this idea.

Now if you were me in much of my life you’d go, “No I’m not. I have no one following me. I’m not in a position of power. I’m a small cog. I have no influence. I don’t want to be a leader!” And for a long time I was mad at the teaching that “everyone is a leader”.

There are people who naturally have this ability to get others on board with their ideas. They naturally get people to follow them without even trying. That is leadership! I agree that many people are leaders, but I am not one of them. I can plan things and talk to people and do lots of work, but often no one comes, or no one agrees, or no one likes it. And that’s okay! I am okay with the fact that I am not in leadership. But I do have the ability to lead.

I’d like to suggest we reframe our thinking and perhaps consider a change of verbiage.

You see for there to be a leader, that means that there have to be followers. In this idea of a “leader” it automatically elevates someone above others. So I wonder if you can “lead” without being a “leader”.

According to the OED (my favorite Dictionary!) A leader is “The person who leads or commands a group, organization, or country “. As opposed to the definition of lead, “Show (someone or something) the way to a destination by going in front of or beside them”.

What is the difference there and why is it important? Well a leader “commands” as opposed to when you lead you have the ability to go “beside them”. So the way you lead matters. Are you going ahead of those that are following you or are you coming along beside them?

I recently explained the difference between friendship and journeying together to some people in my life. You see friendship often comes with the idea of giving out advice. And advice is wonderful! But sometimes your friends don’t need advice. Sometimes they just need to be heard. Sometimes they just need someone to come alongside them.

This is journeying together. Sometimes people need to take all the time it takes them to process their emotions. Sometimes people aren’t happy. Look at Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh!

Eeyore is obviously suffering from some depression but his friends don’t insist that he become happy all the sudden. They don’t insist he change. They accept that he’s at a hard point in life. They don’t stop asking him to join them. They don’t ignore him. They come alongside and choose to enjoy Eeyore regardless.

Look at Samwise Gamgee at the end of Lord of the Rings. Frodo is tired and Sam knows he can’t carry the ring, but he somehow finds the strength to carry Frodo all the way up the mountain. He carries him to where he needs to be and even when Frodo struggles to do the right thing, Sam encourages him.

In fact look at the entire fellowship. They are committed to something greater than themselves. They are all willing to give things up, not so Frodo will change but so that they can support and encourage him.

This is what needs to change in the idea of leadership. It’s not always about changing those that work under you. It’s not always about just making them come around to your ideas. Sometimes it’s about coming alongside when someone makes a mistake and walking them gently through what needs to change. Sometimes it’s about understanding that this person is obviously having a hard day and they may need some grace today.

Let’s change the way we lead. Let’s not stand in front and demand, let’s come alongside and help.

For me that may mean that the kid who only wants to read Diary of a Wimpy Kid, I let him when he’s at the library. He may be forced to read all sorts of things he doesn’t enjoy at school and even though I know there are other books that are wonderful, he’s happy reading Wimpy Kid. That doesn’t mean I never suggest another book to him, but I don’t force it down his throat. I don’t MAKE him read something else. I come alongside and ask about reading at school. I start to hear his heart about why he doesn’t like those other books. I honor him by hearing what is going on. I make myself a safe person.

Let’s look at leading instead of leadership. Let’s not put ourselves up high and say, “well I’m in charge so I have the best ideas!” Let’s ask others for their ideas and, here’s the hard part, actually consider them and try some of the ideas! Just because we may be the person in charge, doesn’t mean we’re always right.

Keep Sparkling,

B

Illegal Books and Such

B

It’s no longer September! So I can finally post about Banned Books! I’m a bit of a non-conformist and September has “Banned Books Week” in it- thus I could not post about banned books in September. Even more so, I could not call this post “banned books and such”. I know, It’s a bit odd and ridiculous to quibble over such little things, but I am who I am and what I am is a non-conformist, just as many of these books are! (see how I tied my non-conformity into being about books. I know, I’m a sneaky tricksy Hobbit).

J.R.R. Tolkien, in my not so humble opinion, is a genius. I love the Lord of the Rings (LoTR) Universe! I think this trilogy teaches us about the importance of friendship, doing things for the greater good, and enduring in spite of trials. Yet in 2011 this trilogy came in at #40 on the American Library Association’s (ALA) list of most banned books. Some want it banned because it features smoking characters. Some want it banned because it has witchcraft and it is called “irreligious”. In fact in 2001 a group in New Mexico publicly burned a large number of LoTR books due to the “witchcraft”.

So why ban a book? Well to even qualify for the ALA’s list of banned books, a book has to be challenged to be removed from a library. Why remove a book from a library? Most of the time a book is challenged or removed because someone believes the book contains information or descriptions of things that people, children, or YA readers should not read.

This lends me to the thinking of much of the early Catholic church. In my History of the English Language class in college we discussed at length how important it was to translate the Bible into English. Up to that point it was in Latin, the language of the educated people. Who could know what the Bible really said? Only those who knew Latin. One of the arguments for not translating it into English that we discussed was that, “If the people can read all the sins they aren’t supposed to do, they will start to be tempted to do those things. We can’t let them see what sins are available to do! This will just make them sin more!”

This tends to be the same type of nonsense that leads people to wanting to ban books. Control. Control of knowledge, control of people, control of thinking. “If the kids know about stabbing someone, they will want to go out and stab someone!” …. I’m not sure I can agree with that logic.

Now I firmly believe that a person has the right to read whatever they choose within the confines of their own life. That being said, if a parent does not want their child to read a book because of the content or a person is uncomfortable with the content of a specific book- close the book! Return the book to the library. Don’t hand the book to your child. It is your right to do so.

You have that right! You have the right not to read a banned book. But you may be surprised at some of the books that have appeared on the banned books list and why they were challenged to be banned.

  • Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak- dark and frightening
  • Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh- Harriet gossips and slanders without showing remorse for her actions
  • In 1969: The Dictionary – for containing definitions to “inappropriate” and “slang” words
  • Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank- containing sexually explicit passages and “being a real downer”
  • The Lorax by Dr. Seuss- anti-deforesting
  • Hansel and Gretel by the Grimm Brothers- gives witches a bad name
  • The Giver by Lois Lowry- violence, sexually explicit, talks about euthanasia
  • Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare- promotes alternative lifestyles
  • James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl- the spider licking its lips could be taken as sexual
  • Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling- sorcery
  • Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson- sexually arousal (to which Anderson responded that rape is not sexually arousing, it is a crime)
  • The Bible– religious viewpoint
  • The Quran – religious viewpoint

I wonder how many of these books you have read. Did you realize that all these books had been challenged and/or banned?

We have Intellectual Freedom. The ALA defines intellectual freedom as, ” the right of every individual to both seek and receive information from all points of view without restriction. It provides for free access to all expressions of ideas through which any and all sides of a question, cause or movement may be explored. “

So let’s think about the motivation behind someone seeking to get a book banned. Laurie Halse Anderson has said that when a challenge to a book for children and YA readers happens it “most often comes from a place of love and concern. My first response is compassion.” And this is the woman who was told that her book Speak was “soft pornography”. (from personal reading and teaching of this book I can emphatically state that the RAPE in this book is not pornography and there are no instances in the book that would suggest otherwise).

Most people want to ban a book because they don’t agree with the content and they want to keep their, and other, children from reading the book. I can understand choosing that for yourself, but your job is not to police the world. Your job is not to decide other people’s morality. Understand that different people need different things.

When it comes to public and school libraries, understand that intellectual freedom in those places matter. Just because the point of view of the book is different than yours, doesn’t mean there isn’t someone else who needs that point of view represented.

So now I challenge you- go read a banned book! And share your favorite banned books in the comments!

Keep Sparkling,

B

Side Note- the author would like to note that the Catholic Church has done many wonderful things and her comparing banning books to one instance in the history of the Catholic Church is not meant as a derogatory commentary on the current Catholic Church.